Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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