it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize