Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
