i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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