You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
