Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize