there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
