I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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