If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
