My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
