also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
