Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
