Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
