Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just tell him i said nine months
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
