I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
