he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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