actually, I'm a sock model
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
