Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
