playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
