Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
