If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
