you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
