no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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