Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
