If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The feeling are messing with the penis
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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