captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
