I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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