brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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