He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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