The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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