I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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