In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
