just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
