I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
