I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
