are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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