If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The feeling are messing with the penis
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
