he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I had to cum in my sink.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize