I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
