Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize