You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
