no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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