how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
