i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
