I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Randomize
