i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
