Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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