Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
