If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
