I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Even my vagina gasped.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
