Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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