Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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