i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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