Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
did you just send me my own nude
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
