im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Green mimosas i think yes
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
