i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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