you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Less talking, more tequila
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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