haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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