Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we're making bets on your personal life
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize