Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
