I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
