we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
