I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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