is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
